Friday, July 9, 2010

Corporate privatization.

Okay - blog is now private. I know it's the internet and I opened myself up to all the criticism because I invited people to my blog and NO I did not expect everybody to agree with me, but as if snarky comments weren't enough I started getting actual hate mail and SO I shut it down (Tina Fey style). I was gonna scrap the whole thing but I have actually met some super awesome/helpful/sane people that I want to keep in contact with and whose blogs I enjoy reading and so HEY, let's try some privacy settings first.

Here is my baby seabass:


Look at him stick his little butt in the air! Apparently, it is still too early to know the sex. Okay, I knew that, but I REALLY WANT TO KNOW. I am going absolutely bonkers over here. But this ultrasound was so amazing, unlike the one at Planned Parenthood (love 'em to death in theory, and lord knows the world needs 'em, but man am I song irrationally angry at them for doing their jobs). At PP they only do an ultrasound to assess how far along you are. They don't really let you see it (unless you ask, which I did) and it takes about 2 seconds. But at my gyno, they fussed around checking all of the limbs and his tiny little kidneys and femurs and his BUTT (plus there was a medical student there, and I let her fuss around a bit too. The pursuit of knowledge is very important!) and it was just the coolest thing ever to watch. First of all, my doctor's office is mad nice. Like, they HEAT THE GEL that they put on your belly. And there's a TV on the other side of the room that lets you comfortably watch what they're doing on the ultrasound. And oh lordy lord, seabass moves around like a crazy fellow. I could feel it before, but watching it happen is so incredibly cute.

I'm working for my mom this summer at her company, doing data entry. She desperately needs people who will do monkey work, I desperately need a job and will work for less than market rate, especially if it means I get to sit down all day in an air conditioned office. Anyway, I was late this morning because I was hanging out over the toilet dry heaving, and my mom took that opportunity to hold a meeting and tell everyone in the office that she's "going to be a grandmother" and that I'm choosing adoption. Aren't those statements contradictory? Anyway, people have been coming up to me in the office all day to congratulate me. I fucking hate that. It's not terrible news, no, because bringing new life into the world never is (I also like to remind myself that I am GROWING A PERSON and thus it's okay if I eat an entire cake) but I really, really don't want to be congratulated. The people who aren't congratulating are looking at me funny and tiptoeing around me. Mostly men. It's like dude, it's not contagious.

Anyway, I also have an internship at this amazing theater - I wanna go into Theater Management and education - and it's completely awesome. Except that nobody there knows I'm pregnant (and I plan to keep it that way this time) so they keep making me do all sorts of crazy, physically stressful shit. Sometimes it's awesome (demolishing a set with a sledgehammer) and sometimes it's awful. Yesterday I walked about 3-4 miles in the blistering, sticky heat, dropping off brochures at various cafes. Times like those, I really wanna pull the "GROWING A PERSON" excuse. But it actually turned out well, because I saw this amazing street art:

Beautiful, no?

12 comments:

  1. Funnily enough, I liked being congratulated, as long as everyone knew the score. (shrugs) At least they mean well?

    The seabass is lookin' good. I found out at 15 and a half weeks with Cricket that he was a boy, so it is possible, but not likely--sorry you've got a wait ahead of you!

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  2. Are they congratulating you on your pregnancy, or on choosing adoption? I don't mind the first, the second makes me want to vomit.

    My midwives always warmed the ultrasound gel too, and had a screen up on the ceiling to watch. I felt like I could watch that little creature swim around all day. Did they record a video for you?

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  3. "Congratulations" on adjusting your privacy settings ; )

    I'm glad to see you back. It's unfortunate people forget or don't care there's a real person behind a blog post that they don't know and feel they have the right to say things to they wouldn't dare say in person, or "real life".

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  4. Wait, if the blog is private... then how come I can read it? So confused! But I am glad I can read it - I'd like to follow your journey! The little seabass is cute!

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  5. I can read it too by the way so if you're trying to keep some of the adoptees out, it isn't working :) ...and in response to Campbell...I'd say everything I've said on the comments here and anywhere else are things I'd say to your face, or anyone else.

    And my natural mother IS one of my childrens' grandparents..just as my natural siblings are my kids' aunt and uncle.

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  6. I like that I can tell that there is a baby in your ultrasound! We didn't have one with Noah and the pics Pennie gave us Madison are very grainy and weird and I can't really tell what I'm looking at! So will you get another one next month?

    OK, so you're a theater geek? I like you better and better. I have a thing for showtunes.

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  7. Lia, I left a response to you in the comment section on my blog.

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  8. I love that ultrasound picture.

    I have a question to ask about what you've posted in your profile--but I'm still thinking of a way to ask it.

    The two newest posts on my blog might help you understand where some of us are...well, at least where I am, coming from.

    At any rate, I always encourage anyone impacted and/or involved by adoption to consider following the movements to improve the rights of adopted persons.

    If you're in New York, you might consider following the Adoptee Rights Movement there: http://www.unsealedinitiative.org/html/more_info.html

    If you're in Pennsylvania, you might consider following the Adoptee Rights Movement there: www.adopteerightspa.org

    If you are in PA, so am I. I'd love to chat with you some time.

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  9. What a beautiful little person you are keeping safe and warm. You made a comment on my blog about my birth son turning 11 years old and I wanted to thank you. I wanted to tell you how SELFLESS you are for placing your baby for adoption. I know what it is like and I know the love you have for your child. There is nothing but love surrounding adoption. I have a lot of experience and knowledge about adoption not just from placing my son but I also have 2 nieces that are adopted. I am also about to graduate as a social worker to work with adoption. If you would like to talk again please feel free. Good luck to you!

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  10. how odd of your mom to "out" your business. and how awkward for you.

    grow that kiddo, girlfriend.

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  11. Welcome to the bizarre, wonderful, and wildly underpaid world of theatre! I know I'm late, but I'm using the "it's the thought that counts" excuse here.

    I've been in professional theatre for the last twelve years, so I know what it can be like working for a smaller, non-union company. With that in mind I'm a little concerned for you and the Seabass as you work a summerstock season. Summerstocks are notorious for being horrendously stressful physically. Similarly a lot of stressful physical activity is usually countermanded during pregnancy, and especially in the heat (you are, after all, doubling the quantity of blood in your system. I hear that gets warm). Would you consider telling your boss that you have a lifting restriction and can't pick up more than, say, 10 pounds (a fairly standard number for back injuries and post surgical recovery)? I'm just thinking about how difficult and often just dangerous my first few seasons in theatres were.

    I hope I'm not stepping on your toes. Just trying to share my experience and a little concern. Now that I've said that, break a leg and kick an actor!

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  12. I think it's funny how so many of us birthmoms (or birthmoms-to-be) name our babies with animal or bug names. Seabass, Cricket, Puppy, Firefly... I call my daughter Ladybug on my blog.

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