I'm turning off anonymous comments and when I figure out how to block certain users from commenting I will do that too. This is my space. I'm not going to let you trample all over me anymore - I just can't take it. If you wanted to make a complete stranger in a shitty situation cry, congratulations. I heard you, you made your point, I get it. And I understand I went to the adoptee blogs first. That was a mistake. I apologize. I will leave you all alone, I will no longer try to open lines of communication or to ponder your point of view. I will stop trying to understand you. You've made it clear you can't be understood. You win.
But this is my blog, not a forum for you to wax philosophical about what a terrible person I am, or all birthmothers and adoptive parents are. I believe there is a forum for that elsewhere. Please, I beg of you, just leave me alone.
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ReplyDeleteBlogger is pretty rubbish at selecting out comments - though it's just got a better spam filter, you tend to have to choose between either anonymous, non-anonymous, or members-only.
ReplyDeleteIt also doesn't have any password-protected features which is pants in my opinion.
OK, it's free, so I suppose you get what you pay for.
FWIW, love you, darlin'.
ReplyDeleteWe aren't all like that. We don't all feel that way. Do try to remember.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry you've been hurt Lia, it sucks. I have stopped reading lots of blogs and answering posts because of such negativity. There is a way to share an opinion without ripping someone you don't know apart. Hope you will continue to write for those of us who enjoy reading. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry. I am so, so sorry that you are going through this.
ReplyDeleteYou need to do what you feel is right. Do not worry about anyone else. Please know that you have a lot of people who support you, regardless of what your final decision may be.
I'd just like to pimp wordpress for a second, which is also free, but does a much better job of letting you sift through comments: you can turn them off, set them all to need approval, whatever. It's not a solution to all problems, but it is, I find, a small mercy.
ReplyDeleteI commend you for trying to understand Lia. It's helpful information, just such a shame the delivery of it sucks. Most people are frightened off by it very quickly, understandably, so anything that's important gets lost.
ReplyDeleteNothing to say. Just standing in solidarity.
ReplyDeleteI, too, am here to support you, Lia. I'm sorry you're hurting.
ReplyDeleteWhew! The air is decidedly clearer in this comment section. It is now what it should have been in the post that started it all as well. An atmosphere of support of you as a person regardless of whether or not they support your decision.
ReplyDeleteYou are reaching out, you are trying to understand. Many aren't that brave. You are a bright, intelligent, articulate individual and the Seabass will be blessed by both your nature and your nurture in his life in whatever capacity you decide is best.
In the words of Rodney King, "Can't we all just get along?"
~ Jill
Lia, I'm posting this on behalf of someone else. I hope that's ok to do.
ReplyDeleteLia,
I was one of the anons who tried to be supportive of you, but got run
over by the nasties. I am sorry all this came down on you. A lot of
people in adoptionland cannot differentiate between themselves and
others. Boundary issues. Also, as a surrendering mother you become a
lightning rod for their anger and frustration and hatred of their
mothers or themselves that has nothing to do with you.
You take care of yourself, keep knitting, enjoy this semester of school.
My surrendered son is fine, happy, has a good marriage and good job,
despite not having the best adoptive home. He does not hate me or carry
on like some of the adoptees who have written here. I do not feel I have
any syndromes as a result of surrendering a child, just some sorrow and
regret.
I wish you and your son well. The next few months might be uncomfortable but will go fast. You do not need any more stress.
Do what you need to do and know that at least some of us who have read
your blog care. I could not post to your blog with the new rules because I do not have a URL, but was upset by what happened to you and wanted to say something supportive.
maryanne
Good for you for taking care of yourself and your space. Like Susie said, WordPress is always there!!
ReplyDeleteWordpress rules. I tried using Blogspot and it sucked.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I do have to ask: "I heard you, you made your point, I get it. And I understand I went to the adoptee blogs first. That was a mistake."
That has me tilting my head in utter confusion. Why do you feel it was a mistake to seek out adoptee blogs? Was it because they made you feel guilty?
Hi Lia,
ReplyDeleteI've been reading your posts and really enjoy them and your sense of humor! I'm sorry you're having a hard time and hope that you get some peace as you try to do what YOU think is best. As a hopeful adoptive parent, I've also read alot of adoptee blogs and websites looking to understand their perspective. I agree with Campbell above, there are definitely important things to learn but unfortunately the hatred gets in the way of the message. All the best to you, whatever you decide!! :)
I just found your blog and I am a birthmom. My son was born in 2000. I just want you to know I am in full support of you! I am trying to find people to follow and I hope you do not mind if I follow you! I have a big heart, and good ears. =) Please feel free to friend me. =) Best of luck, poo on all those mean people! Thoughts and prayers!
ReplyDelete